Resurrection
by hopelesslydevoted2svu
Summary: Can you really ever come back after you destroy everything?  Mature.  Takes place immediately after Jenna's shooting in Season 12.  Told from Olivia and Elliot's POVs.
1. Chapter 1

Resurrection

Summary: Can you ever really comeback after you destroy everything?

Olivia's POV

The wetness seeped through her fingers growing sticky and cold but her eye contact never broke with his. She would not be the one to turn away not with the desperate look overtaking his eyes. Everything seemed to freeze in that moment. A dull steady roaring in her ears blocked out the cavalcade of voices that her subconscious knew were filling the room. His gaze was so full of shock, stunned disbelief that she actually felt the thud of her heart beat stopping. She wanted to cry when he tore his gaze away.

The noises came rushing back almost painfully their full cacophony ringing in her ears.

"Olivia!" Fin called out striding over to Olivia from where he had been crouched behind his desk.

Olivia didn't move from her spot her hands frozen on Sister Peg's wound and her gaze still locked on Elliot's.

"Olivia," Fin said his hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

Olivia watched as Cragen knelt beside Elliot taking his gun with gentle firmness that Cragen always exuded in his role as captain.

"Olivia, she's gone," Fin whispered near her ear. "Come on," Fin urged her up on her feet.

As Olivia's hands slid slowly from Sister Peg's lifeless body she could not help being reminded of Sonya. She remembered inexplicably wanting nothing more than Elliot in that moment. Here she was again and here he was with her, she never felt more separated from him then she did in this moment. She stood slowly surprised to find her legs supporting her without difficulty. Her eyes stayed with Elliot.

Elliot's POV

Elliot was barely registering what Cragen was saying. He stood without thought, handed his gun over without thought. Everything was happening too fast and too slow. Where was Olivia? He needed to see her face, see her eyes. He needed her. His eyes searched for her. He was frustrated with Cragen pulling him away from the only support that really needed, her.

Olivia's POV

Fin and Munch were blocking her view of Elliot. They were saying something.

"Are you okay, Olivia?" Munch asked.

Olivia shook her head trying to clear her mind, clear the fog. She stepped around Munch not answering his questions. She could see Cragen standing between Elliot and Jenna's body like Elliot could forget that she was there. Where was Cragen taking him? Olivia started walking toward them until she was stopped by Munch's grip on her upper arm. "Don't," he said.

Olivia gave him an incredulous look.

"Liv, you can't go with him," Fin said.

Olivia jerked her arm from Munch's grip giving both of them a look that clearly said fuck you. Olivia crossed the room maneuvering past medics and officers shoving herself through the crowd, her eyes focused on the moving figures of Cragen and Elliot. She silently cursed as she saw the door shut. She pushed forward faster until she reached the door. She placed her hand there not even noticing the dried sticky blood coating her palm and fingers. She knocked with her left hand her right already turning the knob. The door gave way only slightly her movement to enter the room halted by Cragen.

"Not now, Olivia," Cragen said his tone caring but clear as he shut the door.

Olivia froze there unsure of what to do. Fin's hand on her shoulder steered her away from the door and back to her to the bullpen. The bottom half of her calf bumped into the gurney lowered to floor to load Jenna. Olivia stared down at her lifeless body still in shock.

"Give your statement first, Liv," Fin said guiding her away through the throng of people and into interrogation.

"My statement?" Olivia asked suddenly confused. "IAB is already here?"

Fin nodded solemnly. "You know IAB first scent of blood and they are here,"

Olivia wordlessly followed Fin into the open interrogation room door. She startled in her seat when she heard Fin close the door. She was alone now.

Elliot's POV

Cragen was leaning against his desk and Elliot could see him forming words even hearing them coming out but his mind had gone numb. He had just killed a fifteen year old girl. An innocent fifteen year old girl who had just lost her mother. A girl only two years younger than his twins. He had taken her life. There was no going back now.

Olivia's POV

Olivia walked out of the IAB interrogation an hour later. She quickly made her way to the bullpen seeking out Elliot. Through the myriad of inane questions that Ed Tucker had asked one thing had resonated over and over in her mind, Elliot. Olivia quickly made her way to the captain's door which was ajar. "Cap," Olivia said opening the door.

"Olivia," Cragen looked up from the paperwork he was working on. "He is in with IAB,"

Olivia nodded. "I'll wait for him,"

"Don't," Cragen replied.

Olivia looked at him. "He is my partner, Don,"

"He will be here for hours, Olivia. I do not want you waiting for him and that is an order. You need to go home,"

"No," Olivia said quietly. "I won't leave him,"

"Are you disobeying my direct order, Benson?" Cragen asked.

"Please," Olivia said her voice breaking mid plea.

"Olivia, Elliot is going to be here a long time. I need you to trust me that you need to go home," Cragen said.

Olivia nodded shakily.

"I will tell him," Cragen said.

Olivia nodded again before turning back to her desk and grabbing her coat. She walked blindly out of the bullpen ignoring the questions from her peers. On autopilot she made her way down the hall to the elevator and out the precinct doors. Olivia did not remember the ride home or the walk up six flights of stairs to her apartment door. She did not remember the shower she took under the scalding hot water trying desperately to get the last remnants of Sister Peg's blood off her hands. She sat curled up on the sofa in Elliot's borrowed NYPD tee shirt with a glass of vodka in her hand. She closed her eyes as she took a long sip and the fluid burned as it traveled down her throat. She wasn't even aware of the silent stream of tears lining her face as she cried for everything today. Tears for Elliot, tears for Jenna, tears for Sister Peg, and worst of all tears for herself as she knew this would change everything. She swallowed hard when she heard the buzzer. They was no request or voice on the other end but she didn't need one, she knew who it was.

Elliot's POV

He had no idea how he had arrived at the front door of her apartment building. He had left the precinct twenty minutes ago. He moved quickly through the door as she buzzed him in ignoring Olivia's doorman who greeted him. He bypassed the elevator for the stairs, the need to keep moving overwhelming him. Stopping would mean thinking, thinking would mean comprehending, and comprehending would mean dealing. He made his way down the hall and didn't even have to knock as she opened the door first. Her face was the picture of his heart. In that moment everything stopped and Elliot felt the realization, the knowledge wash over him like the crest of an ocean wave. It drowned him.

Olivia's POV

"El," she whispered as she opened the door for his entry. Her eyes studied his face watching as shock was replaced with something else. Panic. She reached for him pulling him into a hug, her arms wrapping around him in a desperate attempt to stave off the painful reality of the afternoon. The words it will be okay formed in her head but could not get past her mouth as she started then stumbled unable to finish.

Elliot's POV

He clung to her trying to absorb the comfort she was trying to give. She always had his back in every way but Elliot could not stop the fear that was rising as he stood in her entrance way. Suddenly stopped, he could not breathe. He clung tighter.

Olivia POV

She felt his hands tighten on her arms. "El?"

"I can't breathe," he whispered the words against her ear making her tremble with each syllable.

Olivia pulled back to look into his eyes. The look she saw scared her. She had never seen that look on his face. "El, what can I do," Olivia implored wanting to help him to assuage the pain and fear he was experiencing.

He shook his head. "Can't breathe,"

Olivia placed the hand not holding her glass to his cheek. It was more touching in those minutes then they had done in years but there was no thinking of that in the moment only of him and what he needed.

Elliot's POV

Later he would not be able to explain. Later he would not be able to excuse it. Elliot searched her eyes as he desperately searched for something, anything that might anchor him in this moment. The next thing he knew they were sliding to the floor, the sound of her glass hitting the hard word as it shattered did nothing to stop what was going to happen. His hand were between her legs pushing her panties aside and his hand was on his zipper.

Olivia's POV

Later she would not be able to explain her reaction. Later she would not be able to say why she didn't stop it. His hands were so quick, he was so quick. She barely registered what he was doing before she felt him long and hard on her thigh and then pushing inside. She cried out unprepared for the act and him. It hurt and her body initially resisted. She felt him slow down his entrance. Her eyes met his and she silently give him permission for this, to take from her. Olivia cupped his face in her hands their eyes locked together. His movements became steady and slower as he made his way full inside her. Their lower halves moved in tandem and she knew she would not come, not like this. This was about him. This was about saving him and she would do anything for that. With that thought she gave up the last vestige of herself to him. Ultimately saving him was saving herself although she had always known it in this moment that she actually realized it.

Elliot's POV

His heart broke at her cry. He stopped his movements his eyes searching hers. He knew he hurt her. She was so tight his body had reacted to the pleasure instinctively forcing its way in further. Now he hovered above her needing more in every sense of the word. Her hands came to rest on his cheeks and her eyes silently communicated to him. Elliot began to move slower losing himself in her. He was taking from her and he knew it but he was also giving. Elliot's eyes locked on Olivia's as he stopped holding back his feelings letting them pour forth in this moment, all twelve years of them. His hands reached for hers taking them off his face and linking them together. He cried as he came inside her silent tears sliding down his face.

They laid on the floor of her entrance way bodies entangled, hearts and souls bleeding. "Always, you," he whispered the words into her ear knowing she would be the only one to really understand them.

A/N: One shot? I wanted to do something a little different. Someone very smart mentioned to me that all the Olivia and Elliot stories start the same way, he is divorced and suddenly realizes he is in love with Olivia. I know a lot of stories are about the shooting of Jenna and the aftermath hopefully this one is a little different.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and the crew at NBC own Law and Order SVU. I only own this story idea and any characters that I create.

Resurrection

Chapter 2

Olivia's POV

Olivia laid on the floor her heart thumping wildly in her chest. Her mind and body taking in a myriad of sensations all at once. She could feel Elliot's breath hot against the skin of her neck, hear the erratic tempo of it. He was on top of her. He was inside of her. The floor underneath her was cold but her body was flush with warmth from his. Warmth from his. The words echoed in her head, she swallowed hard feeling the stickiness between them evidence of him, of her, of what they had done. The distinct smell of sex permeated the air. Olivia shivered her eyes slowly opened as she felt Elliot stiffen on top of her. Her fingers curled into a fist in anticipation, waiting for his reaction.

Elliot's POV

Elliot was sure he had passed into some alternate conscious for several minutes one his brain and body was fighting not to leave. He could feel reality settle in seeping into his conscious as he realized he was lying on top of Olivia with his pants around his knees. He was inside her, deep inside her. It felt so good her body holding his, tightly, intimately. His own body hummed with a pleasure that he could not put into words. That knowledge that realization sent him spiraling back into reality. His body was happy not hers. His hands slid onto the cold of the hard wood floor underneath them, underneath her. Fuck. He had taken her right there inches away from her door, on the floor. Shame, guilty, and fear made Elliot's stomach turn as he remembered the way he had taken her no prelude, no preparation. She had cried out, not no but in pain. He had fucking hurt her in his own quest to stop his hurting. Elliot's chest began to ache inside. He slowly raised himself up and pulled back from her. He tried to ignore the sound she made when he pulled himself from her, wincing internally. He pulled his pants and boxers up over his hips before slumping against the wall. Then he made his biggest mistake, he looked at her. She was sprawled across the floor with her tee shirt hitched around her rib cage exposing her stomach and lower body. He knew he should not look he had already taken advantage of her horribly but his body had other ideas his eyes gliding over her taunt tan colored abdomen. Moving slower to the dark apex of curls between her legs. God, he knew how soft those curls felt flush against his flesh. His eyes trailed to her thighs glistening with his fluid and what was that on her inner thigh. Elliot felt the air leave the room as he stared at the mixture of wetness tinged with blood. He had made her bleed. The bile rose in his throat burning his chest, he was going to throw up. What the fuck had he done.

Olivia's POV

Olivia saw the panic and fear rising in Elliot's eyes replacing the warmth and something that she couldn't quite place previously there. She looked down at herself quickly. Her eyes registered her exposed lower half and then landed on what obviously had Elliot freaking out. Blood. It didn't surprise her. She could feel the ache between her legs from him. She looked back at him quickly needing to wipe away the fear and panic. She struggled to sit up unable to hide the wince of pain that closing her legs made. She needed that look gone it scared her. Olivia placed her hands back on the floor behind her as she opened her mouth to reassure Elliot. The pain was sharp. Olivia pulled her right hand forward. She stared in shock at the broken shard of glass from her earlier drink embedded in her wrist. Blood trickled around it making alternate paths of red down her hand. Olivia pulled the glass out instinctively before the words even left Elliot's mouth.

Elliot's POV

"No!" Elliot yelled as he scrambled over to her side. He watched in horror as the sliver of glass left her wrist and blood spurted forth shooting upward like a red sprinkler. "Olivia," Elliot clamped his thumb over her wrist so tightly that she cried out. Her face was already paling even though it had been only seconds maybe a minute. Elliot kept his hand firmly over her wrist feeling her pulse pounding

underneath his fingertips. He pulled her tee shirt down haphazardly before he reached around her with his other arm sliding it under thighs lifting her up as he struggled up onto his knees. He stood up wobbly as he carried her to the door. "Stay with me," he commanded.

Olivia's POV

Olivia fought the dizziness threatening to engulf her as Elliot raced down her stairs carrying her in nothing but her tee shirt. She leaned her head against his chest relishing the sound of his heart beating strongly underneath his clothes. She was so sleepy.

Elliot's POV

Elliot cursed seeing blood seeping around the grip he had on Olivia's wrist. Mercy was blocks from her apartment. It would be faster than an ambulance. He saw Olivia's doorman Henry. "Henry!" Elliot yelled.

"Oh my God!" Henry exclaimed running over to Elliot. "What happened?"

Elliot shook his head. "I need you to drive us now! She cut her hand, the artery I think,. I can't let go! Get the keys out of my left pocket!"

Henry nodded taking the keys from the pocket of Elliot's pants.

Elliot ran outside to the car sliding into the passenger seat. One handed he grabbed the siren turning it on.

Henry nodded at Elliot pulling into traffic, his foot already firmly on the accelerator.

"We will be there in just a minute, Liv," Elliot whispered kissing the top of her head. "Hang in there, Liv,"

Olivia's POV

Olivia felt the soft brush of Elliot's warm lips ruffle the top of her hair sending tingles through her scalp. Her hand no longer hurt, she could no longer feel it. She struggled against the sleepiness to open her eyes, to see Elliot. He sounded so scared. He needed to know it was okay. Olivia blinked rapidly shivering at the sudden onslaught of cold as Elliot exited the car at the emergency room with her in his arms.

Elliot's POV

Elliot didn't bother with the front desk or triage slipping inside the glass door that opened for another patient carrying Olivia. He surveyed the room looking for a familiar face. "Chase!" he yelled across the emergency room seeing the young doctor who helped Olivia and him on several cases. Elliot saw him cross the room heading toward him. Upon seeing a listless Olivia in Elliot's arms, Chase gestured to one of the open trauma bays. Elliot followed him into a large room with equipment hanging from the ceiling. A nurse had joined them wheeling in a stretcher.

"What happened?" Chase asked.

"She cut her hand on a piece of glass and pulled it out. It was spurting blood, I know she hit an artery," Elliot said the words rushing out.

"Okay, okay," Chase gave the nurse rapid instructions. "Elliot, we are going to take her to the operating room. I need you to keep a grip on that artery until we get in there and they tell you to let go," Chase instructed. "Do you understand?"

Elliot nodded.

The nurse indicated for Elliot to lower Olivia onto the stretcher. "You need to get on with her, sir. We will going to the operating room fast,"

"We can't chance you walking with the stretcher. The vascular surgeon is already here, we are lucky he was called in to for another case," Chase said.

Elliot climbed up on the stretcher carefully straddling Olivia holding her wrist in a death grip.

"Olivia, we are going to give you something that is going to make you sleepy. Don't fight it, okay," Chase instructed.

Elliot heard Olivia mumble something as the stretcher began moving down the hall toward the elevator. "Liv, what?" Elliot asked.

"Don't leave me," Olivia whispered licking her dry lips.

"Never," Elliot whispered back kissing her cheek softly as watched her nod her head slowly. He could tell she was fighting the drugs. "It is okay, Olivia. I am right here. I will be right here when you wake up," Elliot said softly feeling the jerk of the elevator as they reached the basement. The doors opened and they were careening down the long narrow white hall to the operating room.

As they entered the sterile operating room and Elliot felt the cold splash of betadine over their joined hands he leaned down. He pressed his mouth tightly to her ear. "I love you,"

A/N: Thank you for the awesome reviews and for taking the time out to read my stories. I am so happy that people enjoy reading them. I decided based on the reviews to continue this story so I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you again for all the positive feedback, I appreciate it more than you can possibly know!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Dick Wolf owns Law & Order SVU. I only own this story idea and any characters that I create.

A/N: I got rid of the POV's instead incorporating them into the story. I hope that is okay. I will be working on Bound next. Happy Trails will be updated over the weekend cause it is a big chapter! Thank you for reading!

Resurrection

Chapter 3

Olivia swallowed hard. Her throat felt like straw. She fought against the heaviness of her eyelids forcing them to open. She blinked at the the tile ceiling. She blinked again turning her head to the right, seeing a monitor and IV pole. She closed her eyes again. She felt the warmth of a hand, his hand in hers. She opened her eyes again turning to the left. Elliot was slumped in the chair pulled next to her stretcher. His arm was stretched across the stretcher, in a rather awkward position, his fingers entangled with hers. He lifted his head the minute she shifted.

Elliot swallowed hard looking at Olivia's wide dark eyes. "Hey," he whispered softly. "You really scared me," It was the first words he had really spoken to her since the apartment, since they had been together. They seemed rather inadequate.

Olivia worked her lower lip between her teeth. He looked devastated. "I'm okay," El," she managed to croak out despite her dry and aching throat. She was okay at least physically she didn't begin to want to deal with the emotional havoc that they had both caused.

The nurse came over interrupting. "How are you doing Ms. Benson? You're vitals look really good. Your doctor thinks we can probably let you go later this morning," she said.

Olivia nodded her understanding. "Can I have some water?" Olivia asked.

The nurse nodded.

Olivia looked over at Elliot. "You should go home, El," she whispered.

"I can't," Elliot said running a hand down his face.

Olivia squeezed his fingers. "Yes, yes you can El. Kathy is probably worried sick about you," she urged. Kathy. They had both betrayed her. Olivia could feel the guilt seeping into her bones, her soul. "Please just go El," Olivia moved to pull her hand away.

Elliot gripped it tighter. "I am not leaving you," he whispered.

"Not your decision," Olivia said still trying to extricate her fingers from his.

"Don't please, Liv," Elliot pleaded. "I am so sorry,"

Olivia made the mistake of looking at his face, his eyes. Tears were brimming in them.

She stopped struggling. She closed her eyes. They were burning along with her throat. She felt the dampness on her cheeks as tears began to make their way silently down. She heard his sobs followed by his fingers warm and welcome on her face brushing away the tears.

"So sorry, Liv," he choked out. "God, I never meant to hurt you,"

Olivia nodded unable to open her eyes and see him crying. She didn't think she could take it.

"Olivia," Elliot whispered lowering his head as he kissed her forehead softly.

Olivia felt the warmth of his lips against her forehead and they felt oddly right. She felt him gently press kisses to her closed eyes, her nose, and her cheeks. Her eyes fluttered open and met his. It was too much in that moment. Olivia felt like she could not breathe as his blue eyes held her steady in their gaze. They didn't say anything at least not verbally. Olivia felt like she had been waiting her entire life for this moment.

"I love you, Olivia," Elliot whispered the words coming out so easily, so true. It was the easiest thing he had ever said in his life. He lowered his mouth to hers. His lips grazed hers. It was gentle and ever so light. He leaned down again and captured her full, soft upper lip between his.

Olivia lifted her other hand uncaring about the IV and slipped it around the back of his neck. Her fingers gripping the skin there. She moaned softly against his mouth. His lips were incredibly soft against hers so different than the hardness of the rest of his body. She felt the tip of his tongue warm and alive in her mouth as he tentatively explored. She met him with hers, stroke for stroke, unabashedly.

The sprang apart at the sound of Olivia's nurse clearing her throat. She smiled. "You're water,"

Olivia felt the heat flood her face. "Thank you," she whispered taking the cup from her.

"You're welcome," The nurse replied. "We will be moving you to outpatient recovery after the doctor comes in to examine you,"

"Okay," Olivia nodded.

The nurse looked at Olivia's monitor jotting down some vitals before she walked away.

Olivia looked at the small pink cup filled with water.

"Let me help you sit up," Elliot whispered sliding a hand under her back and assisting her into a sitting position.

"Thanks, El," Olivia said. Elliot's hand lingered on her back. She sipped the water slowly. Her eyes fell on the bandage around her wrist. It didn't hurt right now but it did feel a little achy. Actually several places felt a little achey when she sat up.

"You need to get some rest," Elliot whispered.

"Only if you do," Olivia challenged him.

Elliot smiled. "Later. I need to go get you something to wear home," he said as he eased her back onto the stretcher. "Make some calls," he added softly.

Olivia nodded she imagined one of those calls would be to his wife, no doubt.

"I will be right back," Elliot whispered. He leaned down softly kissing her mouth.

Olivia responded to his touch once again any good intentions flying right out the window at the feeling of his mouth on hers. "El," she whispered softly as he stepped away.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"I love you, too," Olivia whispered closing her eyes giving into the emotional and physical exhaustion weighing on her.

Elliot closed his eyes, relief washed over him. The weight in his chest suddenly lifted and he could breathe. Elliot walked out of PACU into the hallway. He was exhausted both emotional and physically. He pulled his phone from his pocket quickly glancing down at the phone calls. Several were from Kathy. He sighed as he hit the redial button and stepped into the elevator.

Olivia sat in the big pink oversized reclining chair. The nurse had placed a boxed lunch in front of her and her discharge paperwork to the right. She looked at clock nervously wondering if she should call a cab. The doctor had emphasized repeatedly that he wanted no pressure or lifting placed on her wrist. He had also indicated that someone staying with her would be helpful at least the first twenty four hours. Olivia had listened and nodded in understanding but knowing there was no one to really ask. She wasn't even sure if Elliot was actually going to show to give her a ride home. She looked back at the clock. Had she really said she loved him? Stupid. Stupid, she thought. At the very least she was going to need clothes to go home in. She stood up looking for the nurse or the nearest phone.

"Liv," Elliot said entering the room her duffel bag dangling from the fingers of his right hand.

Olivia looked up meeting his eyes suddenly feeling like she needed to sit down and it had nothing to do with her injury.

As if sensing the shift, Elliot reached for her slipping his arm around her waist. He dropped her bag. "You okay?" he asked worry etched on his face.

"I am fine. Don't say anything to the nurse," Olivia whispered seeing her heading their way.

"Great, you're ride is here," The nurse frowned studying Olivia's uneaten lunch. "You really need to eat something Ms. Benson,"

"I will make sure she eats something," Elliot said.

The nurse nodded. "Good. You have everything else. You can change in that bathroom over there. If you need anything else before you leave please let me know,"

Olivia smiled at her. "Thank you,"

The nurse smiled before walking over to her next patient.

"You need some help?" Elliot asked without thinking.

Olivia blushed. "I think I can handle it, El," she replied placing her hand on Elliot's pink cheek lightly. "But thank you for asking,"

Elliot nodded feeling the heat in his face and neck. He watched her disappear into the bathroom. He made sure to stay close just in case she needed anything. He leaned against the wall. He really needed to talk to her especially after this morning. He needed to let her know what happened with Kathy this morning after he left. More importantly, he needed to let her know how much she meant to him. He had to let Olivia know what he never fully understood before. She was his. They were meant to be together. She was in his blood, his skin, and his soul.

Olivia slipped off the hospital gown easily. She reached into her duffel grateful that Elliot had brought her sweats. They would be easy to put on. She bit her lower lip nervously when she saw her underwear in the bag. Obviously, he would have to bring them but the thought of him going through her things was a little embarrassing. She picked up the panties, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. He had picked the red ones, the sheer red ones.

A/N: Hope you like the update! Thank you for reading. I will update Bound next.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Dick Wolf owns Law & Order SVU. I only own this story idea and any characters that I create.

Resurrection

Chapter 4

Olivia looked over at Elliot's profile as they pulled out of the hospital's parking garage. His expression was neutral but she knew that there was a lot brewing under that surface. For the first time in their over twelve year partnership, she had no idea what to say to him. The feeling was completely alien to her. She looked down at her bandaged arm replaying in her head the events of the last twenty-four hours. Olivia closed her eyes laying her head back against the headrest.

"You okay?" Elliot asked, concerned.

"I am fine," Olivia replied quietly.

Elliot wanted to pull the car over. He could hear just how not okay she was in her weak voice. He cast a sideways glance at her. Her normal olive toned skin was a paler shade of yellow.

"Yeah, right," Elliot said looking at her as he pulled up to the raffic light. "you don't have to pretend for me, Liv. I want to know."

Olivia turned to him slowly her cheek resting against the headrest. "Really, El. I am okay. It is still fairly numb."

Elliot nodded. "I wasn't just talking about that."

Olivia watched as he proceded through the intersection once the light turned green. She bit her lower lip, nervously. She knew he hadn't just been talking about her hand. "I am okay."

Elliot reached across the seat, the fingers of his right hand reaching for and grasping her left hand.

Olivia swallowed hard as she glanced down at his hand covering hers. Every instinct told her to pull away but as if driven by some intrinsic need, she twisted her hand her palm upward lacing her fingers through Elliot's. They squeezed each others fingers, simultaneously. Olivia cast a glance at Elliot, his face was visibly more relaxed.

Elliot could feel Olivia's eyes on her. He turned and gave her a soft smile. Elliot steered with his left hand as he turned the corner to Olivia's apartment.

Olivia still felt like she should give Elliot an out. She was also scared of the conversation that they would need to have if he went upstairs with her. An image of him moving on top of her, inside her flashed in her head. "Thanks for bringing me home, El. I know you probably want to get home, need to get home."

Elliot pulled his hand back from the ignition leaving the key to dangle. He shook his head slowly before gesturing to the back seat.

Olivia felt her heart start to thump faster inside her chest as she looked in the back seat of the sedan. A beat up suitcase sat in the floor of the car. Olivia looked at him, her eyes wide.

"I told her," Elliot said as he stared out the front windshield of the car. He watched as spatters of rain drops began to hit the windshield.

"What?" Olivia asked her tone, tremulous.

"Everything," Elliot said.

"Oh God," Olivia whispered. She had no idea what everything meant but it did not sound good especially not when his suitcase sat in the backseat. "What exactly did you say El?"

The rain started to fall more steadily against the windshield cloaking the car like a dismal dark coat. Elliot leaned back in the seat as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I told her about Jenna. About the shooting. I told her I couldn't do it anymore."

Olivia swallowed hard. "Can't do what anymore?"

Elliot looked over at her his blue eyes, clouded. "SVU. My marriage. Basically, everything. I told her I felt like I was drowning. In the station when I realized Jenna was dead, Liv it was like I had drown."

Olivia looked at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I could not breathe. There was no air left. The only thing that I could think of was you," Elliot said softly. "I needed you."

Olivia shivered knowing it had nothing to do with the cold outside. Elliot's honesty was shocking, overwhelming, and unexpected.

Elliot shook his head, laughing. "I have been married for twenty years and on the worst day of my life, the first person I thought about was not my wife. Not even close. What the hell have I been doing for twenty years, Liv?"

Olivia shook her head. "El," she started but stopped unsure of what to say.

"The minute I saw you in your doorway, the minute I touched you," Elliot closed his eyes briefly, gathering his thoughts. "The minute I was inside you, it was like I could breathe again. I am so sorry I hurt you, Liv."

Olivia watched as a tear made its way down Elliot's cheek. She had never seen him cry. He was crying now because he thought he hurt her. Olivia frantically reached toward him, dropping his hand to cup his face with both her hands. "Elliot Stabler, you did not hurt me. I allowed it to happen," Olivia closed her own eyes, a strange peace stole over her body. "I wanted it. I wanted you," she added. God help her but it was the truth. A truth that she finally gave voice to after twelve long years.

Elliot leaned his forehead against hers. "When did this happen?"

"I don't know," Olivia answered knowing instinctively that he was talking about when their feelings had changed moved beyond partnership and friendship.

"I told her that I slept with you," Elliot whispered.

"El," Olivia whispered back as a tear made its way silently down her own face.

"I told her that I am in love with you," Elliot whispered his eyes moving to lock on hers. "I realized it the minute you opened the door to your apartment last night."

Olivia felt her chest tighten, inextricably. "I love you," Olivia said the words that still frightened her more than anything. They reverberated in the car sounding so much louder than she intended. Her emotions twisted inside leaving her feeling both incredibly scared and excited.

They sat like that. Gazes locked, both crying in the front seat of their police issue sedan knowing this moment forever changed things between them. It was Elliot who finally broke the silence. His hand glided across her bandaged right wrist, encircling it lightly. "We need to get you inside. You need to rest," Elliot said softly.

Olivia looked up at him. She knew she must look tired since she felt like a steam roller had rolled right over her body, heart, and mind. "Okay," she said softly. "Let's go."

"Liv?" Elliot asked quietly.

Olivia looked at him, waiting.

"Can I stay with you? Beyond tonight?" Elliot asked.

Olivia felt that chest tightening again. She had been single all her life. She had never had a live in boyfriend. Was that what he was going to be now? She was amazed as the words rolled off her tongue without hesitation or thought. "You can stay with me as long as you want, El."

A/N: Next up if readers would like Olivia and Elliot get to know each other on a different level. They must also make some major decisions and deal with some heady consequences.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own no parts of SVU Law & Order.

Resurrection

Chapter 5

Olivia and Elliot dashed for the door as the rain started coming in heavier ribbons of water streaming down from the greying sky. Olivia shivered as they stood in the lobby of her building; she ran her hands up and down the length of her arms to warm up.

"Ms. Benson?"

Olivia and Elliot both looked up at Henry's voice.

"You're okay?"

Olivia nodded as she watched Elliot stride over to shake Henry's hand.

"Thank you for earlier. Helping me get her to the hospital. I can never thank you enough, Henry." Elliot's voice was gruff layered with emotion as he shook the older gentleman's hand.

"Not a problem," Henry answered, easily. "I am just glad that Ms. Benson is okay."

"Thank you, Henry." Olivia said before the binging sound signaling the arrival of the elevator sounded in the small foyer.

Elliot walked back across the foyer, stepping into the elevator with Olivia.

Olivia sighed as the doors closed. She leaned her head back against the elevator, lolling it back and forth.

"Your tired." Elliot said it was not a question.

Olivia lifted her head and smiled softly at him. "A little," she answered, giving him a crooked smile. She was exhausted with Jenna's shooting and the emotional fall-out not to mention her emergency surgery; she was barely standing at this point.

Elliot nodded. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to hold her, but he was wary. A lot had happened in the course of the last forty-eight hours even more in the last hour. They were in uncharted territory for them.

Olivia could sense Elliot's reservation. He was holding back, she felt it. She lifted her body up off the back of the elevator and walked to him. She swallowed hard; wanting him to know it was okay, unsure how to precede her brown eyes met his.

It took less than a second for Elliot to drop his suitcase on the elevator floor and pull her into his arms. Engulfing her in a tight hug, his face burrowed into her hair inhaling the sweet scent that was only Olivia.

Olivia tensed than relaxed into the embrace realizing she no longer needed to fight her feelings, no longer did she need to hide or pull back from him; he was hers. Olivia let her hands slide up his back, savoring their glide, feeling the muscles of his back bunch and tighten in response as he pulled her even closer. She nestled her head against the firm wall of his chest.

Elliot brushed his lips reverently across the top of Olivia's hair. He never thought he would be able to hold her like this. He had pushed back the want and need for it, practically made pushing it back an art form after twenty years, now he never wanted to let go.

The elevator doors opened onto Olivia's floor.

Elliot leaned forward pressing his forehead to hers; he rubbed his nose along the length of hers. "Hey," he whispered.

Olivia opened her closed eyes. "Yeah?"

"I think we're here." Elliot whispered.

Olivia closed her eyes, staying put. "Maybe, we should just stay in the elevator. I like the elevator."

Elliot smiled. "Me too. But, I think eventually we may have some company and I am not so sure how much longer either of us is going to be still standing."

Olivia felt Elliot's smile against her face. She smiled instinctively in response. "Okay, you win. My legs are agreeing with you." Olivia pulled back reluctantly.

Elliot reached down with one hand to grasp his suitcase and extended the other to Olivia.

Hand holding. It was not something they did or she did. It seemed far more intimate to walk hand-in-hand than the brief moments they had done so in crisis. Olivia felt her heart start to race as their eyes met again.

"Its okay, Liv." Elliot's voice warm and inviting, his hand reached for hers again.

Olivia swallowed, visibly as she extended her hand lacing her fingers with his as they stepped out of the elevator. They walked down the hall together their hands intertwined between them. Olivia pulled out her key when they reached her door. She turned it and pushed open the door. Her eyes coming to rest on the floor in front of them, she pulled her lower lip between her teeth.

"I didn't get a chance to clean it, yet." Elliot said as he dropped his suitcase and headed into the kitchen to remedy the situation.

"El-" Olivia reached for his arm. "We can clean it later." She stepped over the broken glass and dried blood.

"I can do it," Elliot replied his eyes locked on the floor. There was so much blood, Olivia's blood. It made Elliot literally nausea looking at it.

"Really, El. It can wait. Lets just get some sleep," Olivia pleaded with him, her grip tightened on his upper arm.

Elliot ran his hand down the front of his face before nodding. "Okay. I will clean it up after we get some rest. Are you hungry? I can go get us something."

Olivia shook her head. "I just want to sleep. For hours." Olivia dropped his arm befor dropping her keys onto the hallway table as she walked directly to her bedroom. "El?"

Elliot caught her glance as she turned half way down the hall. He walked to meet her sliding an arm around her waist as he caught up with her just outside her bedroom door. "You okay with this?" Elliot asked.

Olivia placed her hand over his that was now resting on her lower belly. She laced her fingers through his. "Yeah."

Elliot placed a kiss on the top of her head and hugged her tightly before releasing his grip.

Olivia made her way to the bed. She sat on the edge and reached down unzipping her black boot.

Elliot kneeled down in front of her. "Let me."

Olivia watched as he pulled her left boot off before reaching for the right sliding the zipper down smoothly. "I could get used to this," she whispered as she looked down at him.

Elliot looked up at her. Her eyes crinkled at the corners as a smile spread across her face, her dark hair spilled forward falling across her cheeks on both side. Her eyebrow arched in response to his unwavering gaze. "You have no idea, do you?" Elliot whispered.

"What?" Olivia asked, tusking her hair behind her ears.

"How beautiful you are." Elliot whispered his eyes almost navy as they met her gaze.

Her smile trembled. Her chin quivered. "El," she whispered in a shaky voice. "I'm not."

Elliot slid his hand up cupping the back of her right calf as he leaned closer. "Inside and out, Olivia. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever encountered."

"You're going to make me blush, Stabler." Olivia said her voice husky with emotion. Too much emotion threatening to make her do more than blush, her eyes swimming with unshed tears.

Elliot leaned back on his shins. He smiled at her. "You don't blush Benson."

Olivia laughed delighting in the feeling, the release of some of the pent up emotions. She stood up and slid out from between him and the bed. She walked over to her dresser and opened the top drawer. She hesitated over the open drawer, sharply inhaling when she felt Elliot standing at her back his breath warm against her neck.

Elliot rested his chin on her shoulder as he stared down into the drawer of nightwear. Olivia's hand rested on an old familiar NYPD tee shirt similar to the one she had been wearing when she opened her door. "Do you have all my shirts, Benson?"

Olivia paused her fingers curling around the comforting material. "A couple."

Elliot stepped back as she closed the drawer. "I can-" his words were interrupted as Olivia lifted her sweater up and off. His thought process fully obliterated in the presence of her undressed.

Olivia continued sliding the zipper of her jeans down and easing them over her hips. She stood there in front of him in her white bra and red string bikinis. Olivia bit her lower lip as she reached behind her back with her uninjured hand to unsnap the clasp of her bra. She let the strips slip down her arms, the cups sliding away from her breasts.

Elliot forgot to breathe. Literally. He couldn't move, couldn't speak. His eyes drinking her in, her skin glowed in the darkening afternoon light that filtered into the room. Her shoulders were narrow; her gold necklaces resting in the hollow of her throat gleamed against her olive skin. Elliot's eyes moved lower to her chest now bare to his hungry eyes. Her breasts sat on her chest rising and falling with her rapidly accelerating breaths. They spread apart naturally with no obvious enhancements or fake perkiness. Her nipples tightened under his gaze, the coolness of the room or both, he did not know, he only reveled in their rosy beauty. His eyes moved steadily lower taking in the lean muscles of her abdomen evidence of years of physical police work and exercise. Tiny miniscule red strings rested on her hipbones holding up the little scrap of material covering her just barely. Her legs…God…they went on forever. Curved, tone, and muscled thighs and calves that made his head swim with images of them wrapped around his waist and his head. Then it all disappeared.

Olivia pulled the tee shirt over her head. She looked at Elliot; hoping her knew how hard that was for her, how vulnerable she felt in that moment being completely open to him.

Elliot nodded in silent confirmation as he reached one handed behind his neck gripping his sweater which he lifted up and off.

Now, it was her turn to gawk. Elliot's shoulders were impossibly broad. His chest protruded broadly the stance of a well-seasoned military man, a proud cop. For the first time ever, Olivia eyes traversed the lovely landscape of her partner without guilt, remorse, or the need to stop. The lovely slope of his chest into the six-pack that was his lower abdomen, her tongue slipped out wetting her lips instinctively knowing that he was now hers to touch whenever and wherever she pleased. Her eyes dropped to the bulge tenting the front of Elliot's denim. It went all the way to the top pressing insistently against the constraints of the material. Olivia walked over to Elliot. Her fingers trembled a little as undid the first button of his jeans.

Elliot swallowed visibly as her hand slid down his zipper.

Olivia moved her hands to the side of his jeans inside on each hip; she eased them downward, Elliot helping her by stepping out. "El," she whispered.

"Liv?" Elliot's voice strained.

"I am not ready, okay?" Olivia whispered. "Not for that, not just yet. Soon I promise but I need you to hold me okay?"

Elliot nodded. "There is no rush baby. I can do that. I could do that forever."

Olivia wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you, Elliot."

"I love you." Elliot whispered.

"I love you, too." Olivia whispered back.

Elliot bent down as he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bed.

A/N: Updated as per request. I know this not as popular a story as Happy Trails, but I really enjoy writing the heavier emotional element. Hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order SVU.

Resurrection

Chapter 6

Olivia stirred at the insistent ringing sound that echoed in her ears. She sighed, snuggling deeper under the covers and into Elliot's warmth. They were a mass of tangled limbs under the comforter, arms wrapped around one another, legs intertwined. Olivia nuzzled her nose against the warmth of his chest, inhaling the masculine scent unique to him. She felt Elliot shift as he stirred followed by a protesting groan.

Elliot inwardly cursed whoever was dialing his cell so insistently. He reached over Olivia, stretching his arm as his hand blindly searched for his phone. He felt on the second blind pass. Grabbing it, he answered. "Stabler."

Olivia remained still, not moving as Elliot talked. After a couple of minutes, she realized it was their Captain on the phone with him. They talked for just a minute or two before Elliot ended the call and set the phone down.

"Everything okay?" Olivia whispered, lifting her head.

"Yeah," Elliot smiled as he brushed her hair back from her eyes. "Looks like I have some unscheduled time off while IAB do their thing."

"It was justified Elliot. They will realize that. You had to do it." Olivia whispered her bandaged hand lay pressed over his heart.

Elliot closed his eyes before he expelled the breath that he had been holding. "I had to stop her, Liv, but not kill her. I didn't mean for the shot to kill her."

"I know," Olivia reached up with her hand cupping his face. "I know you, Elliot Stabler. I know you better than anyone. I know that you would never intentionally harm anyone."

Elliot opened his eyes, looking down at her with a saddened expression. "But I did. I do."

"Elliot," Olivia whispered.

"I hurt you," Elliot closed his eyes.

"You did hurt me, El." Olivia said. "Look at me, Elliot."

Elliot's eyes opened, looking down into hers.

Olivia had never seen such a defeated look in her partner's eyes before. Defeat, confusion, fear, and pain, clouded his blue eyes. "Elliot, you did not hurt me. What happened before…I did that willingly…I wasn't scared…I didn't ask you to stop though I know you would have."

Elliot dropped his forehead against hers. "I needed you so much. I wasn't even thinking straight, Liv. I just needed you. Needed to be as close to you as I could be."

"I know," Olivia whispered as she tilted her head up to capture his mouth.

They kissed softly. Their lips glided over one another, exploring new territory once forbidden territory. They started slow, tentative.

Elliot groaned his hand slid down the back of Olivia's tee shirt to her ass. He cupped her, his hand stroking her firmness thorough the tee shirt and those little red panties that he knew were just underneath. He pulled her forward, pressing her body to him causing her leg on top of his to ride higher on top his hip. His thigh wedged between her legs moved forward into the new space that was created, pressing firmly into her core.

Olivia moaned her lips parting against his mid-kiss as she felt his thigh press hard and eager between her legs. She pressed downward without thought or hesitation. She began to move slowly against his thigh, rubbing up and down its length.

Elliot slid his tongue in between her parted lips. His thigh pressed upwards harder against her in response to her movements. His hand on her ass tightened to guiding her in her moving. Their kisses quickened.

Olivia was pressing hard on his thigh, urged on by his grip on her ass and the building pressure between her legs. "_El_," she whispered, breathlessly.

"_Should we stop, do you want me to stop_?" Elliot's words came out in a rush both out of breath and strained. "_I can stop. Really…_"

Olivia would have laughed had she not been so in need of release. Elliot sounded like the last thing he could do would be stop. "_God, no! Don't stop_." Olivia pleaded, breath hitched. "Please don't stop."

Elliot looked down into her brown eyes. They were wide and glazed, her expression almost pained. Elliot began moving her faster and rougher against his thigh.

Olivia leaned forward and pressed down trying to get the maximum pressure against her clit. She whimpered, it just wasn't enough not close enough, fast enough, or hard enough.

Elliot rolled over onto his back so that Olivia was on top of him. After giving her a brief moment to steady herself in her new position, he reached down and pulled her underwear to the side. Elliot then grabbed her hips and began to move her rapidly on his thigh.

"_Oh_!" Olivia choked out as she rode his thigh, feeling his warm bare thigh rubbing between her legs. She began to grind down against his skin.

"_Yeah_," Elliot panted. "_Just like that…so wet…c'mon baby…let go for me_."

"_Ah!_" Olivia cried out as her thighs on either side of Elliot's leg trembled. She felt herself pulsing inside and the rush of pleasure that went all the way to her toes. "_El_!"

Elliot watched her still over him as her lips parted in the most beautiful expression that he had ever seen. He caught her as she relaxed and fell onto his chest. His hands pushed her tee shirt up as they slid underneath to rub her back. He placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Better?"

Olivia laughed against his chest. "Much!"

Elliot smiled.

Olivia brought her hand up to Elliot's chest, laying them underneath her head. She tilted her head up, resting on her chin on her hands to look at him. Her face flushed.

"What?" Elliot asked as she blushed.

"I just can't believe you and I just did that." Olivia shook her head, her hair spilling forward.

Elliot shook his head. "It is a little surreal."

They both looked at each other and burst into laughter.

"Stop it," Olivia said, laughing.

"What? You started it Benson." Elliot chuckled.

"I just never thought I would be making out with Elliot Stabler." Olivia grinned at him her eyes crinkling around the corners as her smile widened.

Elliot raised an eyebrow before flipping them suddenly. He leaned over her, grinning wickedly. "You ain't seen nothing yet, honey."

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. I like to have them reflect on their relationship as I can only imagine if it had happened on the show, they would have had at least one moment like this. Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
